08/19/26
I’ve joined Iona Winter, pioneering Aotearoa New Zealand writer and publisher (Elixir & Star Press), for a conversation on her
Rocks in My Pockets podcast, where New Zealand artists speak about creativity and suicide, and facing creativity at a time of an – often unspeakable – bereavement.
Iona, who lost her son Reuben to suicide in 2020, says, “The deep pain of suicide bereavement is something many shy away from, possibly because it’s unfixable. I am compelled to speak to it and make space for others to join me.”
I talk about living with multiple suicide bereavements, how that’s impacted my own work, and some of the people and things that I found useful along the way.
Some suggestions…
Iona asked me about suggestions for writing about suicide bereavement – which can feel especially exposing.
As well as the popular media narratives, and that societal pressure to “ghost our ghosts”, I felt – and do feel – a lot of pressure to honour the person I’m writing about in the best way, to really do them justice. There was a lot of self-censorship that held me back, that I wasn’t even aware of. What helps me to move forward?
- Reading and listening to other people across forms and genres who write about suicide bereavement. The opposite of good is not evil – it’s numbness and indifference (Elif Shafak)
- Learning and writing in good, safe, well-led company – and grabbing your permission slip to start and keep going
- Looking after yourself – seeking support (e.g. EMDR) if you’re finding it triggering
- Being obstinate against silencing and publishing your work
- Keeping going – stories do more than we know (Jeanette Winterson)
Links to my mentions…
- Last Summer by Alex Reece Abbott, in Pure Slush’s Summer Anthology
- Nearly Young by Alex Reece Abbott, in A Liminal Gathering 2 (Elixir & Star Press, pending)
- There’s No Time for Prairie Dog Town by Kathy Fish
- Grip by Kathy Fish or her collection, Wild Life (Matter Press)
- Daughters of the Late Colonel by Katherine Mansfield
- The Ambush by Elizabeth Taylor or in Elizabeth Taylor Complete Stories: (Virago Press)
- Lament by Anne Sexton
- Sylvia’s Death by Anne Sexton
I’ve also had two earlier conversations with Iona about her publishing and writing – see Sins of Omission and Writing the Last Taboo for Flash Frontier.